


Shadows of a Former Life

by here4thereylo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:48:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28464849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/here4thereylo/pseuds/here4thereylo
Summary: From the prompt by Beccastanz:Reylo AU in which no one in the Resistance has actually seen Kylo Ren unmasked, so once Palpatine is defeated, Rey brings her boyfriend “Ben” back to base with herthey “met on a mission” and he “wants to join them” and no, Chewie doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Relationships: Ben Solo - Relationship, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 13
Kudos: 74





	Shadows of a Former Life

**Author's Note:**

> For blueberry muffin. Without your help, love and friendship, 2020 would have been a lot darker. To the next galaxy :))
> 
> (also thank you for telling me to pick up this prompt hehe)

Everyone knew them only as “Ben and Rey.” Two halves of one inseparable whole. They did everything together; one was never to be found without the other by their side. Everyone on Ajan Kloss had accepted this as reality by now, forgetting a time when they weren’t attached at the hip.

There were raised eyebrows and skeptical looks when he showed up with Rey shortly after Palpatine’s defeat. His appearance had been a surprise; a tall, hulking stranger nobody seemed to recognize, following Rey with giant puppy dog eyes as she marched up to co-generals Dameron and Storm, asking if “Ben” could stay on the base with them. 

“How do you two know each other?” Poe had asked, idly flipping through logs on his datapad while Finn regarded Ben with something of a hint of recognition. Ben had stared back at him, still not completely over the former stormtrooper’s abandonment of the First Order.

Which, thinking about it, was exactly what Ben had just done. His eyes had snapped back to Rey’s when she’d cleared her throat.

“Oh! Uh...I found him on Tatooine. Force Sensitive. He helped me out of a bind, so I offered him a job. Yep.”

It wasn’t entirely false.

Poe had looked up from the datapad at the words “Force Sensitive” and took in Ben’s formidable appearance.

“You must have been burning up there, wearing all black like that.”

Ben had forced a chuckle, trying to play it cool. “Yeah, very hot.”

And just like that, he’d found a home there, with Rey.

***

Ben took to regular life like a fish out of water. He was so used to long, painful days of training, planning, scheming, and an all-consuming search for things. First the map, then Luke Skywalker, then Rey, then Palpatine. 

He didn’t know what to do with himself. There was so much free time, comparatively speaking, he found himself running laps around the base just to find something to do. Though Rey wasn’t a fan of that new hobby.

“Ben, you’re supposed to be from Tatooine. No one is going to believe that if they see you running laps for fun.”

“Why not?” He asked one morning, early in their time at the old Resistance base. “People run. I’m not alone out there.”

“People from desert planets with limited access to water do not run for fun.” She’d gritted out those last words under her breath, as if uttering the words recalled unpleasant memories of her time on Jakku.

They slowly worked on everything, teaching him how normal people who haven’t spent the last near-decade being Kylo Ren act. First it was filling the downtime. They both had jobs on the base, but they weren’t nearly as rigorous as what Ben had been used to during his time with the First Order, and he’d known no other adult life.

Next it was his posture. 

Then his interpersonal skills.

Turns out he needed a lot of help with those. Apparently you can’t just force choke people you disagree with.

If people were skeptical, they didn’t show it. So many people had joined the Resistance in those last few months leading up to Palpatine’s demise that everyone had come from all sorts of different walks of life, all with their own backstories and secrets. How different was a man approaching thirty with some anger management issues than anyone else on that base?

Eventually they built a routine, and with it a familiarity, between each other and with everyone else. They started their days sparring and meditating, Ben being the teacher she needed to refine her skills in the Force. They didn’t have a school, per se, but there were a couple kids on the base that displayed some Force sensitivity, and when they had breaks in their schooling they would come to Ben and Rey for a lesson. 

When they weren’t training, they helped around the base. Rey was an engineer with an established reputation. Ben helped her sometimes, especially in his first several weeks there when he didn’t know how to do anything but be an oppressive leader.

Everything was seamless for months. 

Every time they saw Chewie around, he’d nod at them with a knowing eye. When Ben first arrived, they’d had a tearful reunion, with lots of hugs and I’m sorry’s and reminiscing. But after that first day, they acted like strangers around each other. It was less likely to raise curious eyes. 

Chewie was gone a lot, which made that an easier accomplishment. Their paths would cross every time he was on the planet though, with their common circle of people they kept. They’d often have meetings with the co-generals, Chewie, Ben and Rey, Kaydel and a few other trusted advisers. Those were the hardest times to act as strangers.

They almost ruined everything one day, in front of the entire Ajan Kloss council. Chewie was back from one of his gallavants around the galaxy from a supply run to the Inner Rim. They’d beat everyone else to the conference room, and Chewie pulled from his pouch a tiny, delicate chain, which he held out to Ben.

A pair of dice.

Ben recognized them immediately. Flashbacks of him as a kid, playing with them in the cockpit of the Millenium Falcon while standing on his dad’s lap. Of him, defeated and in despair on his knees on Crait, a projection of those same dice disappearing from his palm.

He was overcome with emotion, the tears welling up in his eyes as he rushed into Chewie’s open arms. Nothing else in that moment mattered except clinging to the last lifeline to his parents.

Then the doors whooshed open and in came Poe and Finn. Chewie and Ben jumped apart at the speed of light, clearing their throats as Poe looked with passing curiosity, ultimately shrugging his shoulders and heading towards the head of the table, hooking up his datapad to the projector for their next meeting to discuss the next steps of life after the First Order.

Finn however, took a little longer to observe them, flicking his eyes between both men for an uncomfortable length of time. He too, eventually, passed along to his seat, shaking his head as if he had deja vu. Throughout the whole meeting, Finn’s eyes darted back to Chewie, to Ben, even to Rey, as if trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces.

Finn was always skeptical from the moment Ben arrived, and no matter how much time they spent together, Ben was never able to fully eradicate that suspicion from Finn’s mind. 

He even tried, using his Force abilities. He figured if he could remove the suspicion directly from Finn’s mind, he wouldn’t feel like he was walking on eggshells around the former stormtrooper anymore.

Rey yelled at him for that, in the early hours of the morning as they laid in their bunk. But she didn’t stay mad at him for very long - she’s never been able to stay mad at him for very long. He promised not to use his abilities on any of his new “friends” again, and she was satisfied with that.

***

The next morning found Ben sitting, tucked away from the rest of the population near where he and Rey practice and spar. He was staring at his hands, the little golden dice dwarfed in his large palm. 

He’d missed so much in his life, and it was mornings like this, still and quiet, before everyone woke up, that he noticed it more. He was not under any delusions; he knew everyone had their own shit that they dealt with, but everyone seemed to handle it much better than he ever could.

Not everyone abandoned their loving, albeit distracted, parents to forge a tortured, misguided path led by the galaxy’s most ruthless, most villainous humanoid to ever live. And live to tell the tale. But those years convincing himself he was finding his purpose took away from his family.

His parents.

They would never get to see him like this, free from Snoke’s clutches and making a life with Rey.

At some point in his introspection he must have slipped into meditation, because all of a sudden Rey was sitting next to him and he hadn’t noticed or sensed her approach.

“What are you thinking about?” She asked, her hand coming to cover the dice in his palm. “Han again?”

Ben nodded silently, then cleared his throat. He tried to speak, but Galactic Basic failed him in that moment. Rey stood up, removing her hand from his just long enough to straddle him, her arms falling on his shoulders.

“Look at me.” Her voice was stern, but caring, and his eyes met hers, almost of their own volition. “Han would be so, so proud of you. I know I am. Take this token of his…” she paused just long enough to grab his hand again, and form his fingers into a fist around the dice, “...and remember him by it. Keep it with you. He loves you, even now. And so do I.” 

Before he could respond, she leaned down and captured his lips in a gentle, loving kiss. All his bad thoughts, his self-loathing, his regret, all faded away in her embrace. 

They got carried away, as they often do, and he finally, reluctantly pulled away to catch his breath. He moved to stand, pulling her up with him and carrying her all the way back to the cafeteria where people were starting to gather for breakfast.

Poe and Finn were already mid-meal when they arrived, grabbing their caf and rations and joining them at the table. Chewie was there too, back at base after another one of his supply runs. They nodded in recognition as the couple approached, still buried deep in conversation.

The dice were still in his hand when Ben moved to place his breakfast tray on the table, and they fell on the table when he released his grip, stepping back in order to sit down.

He hadn’t thought anything of it, letting the dice sit on the table for a second while he sat down before putting them in his pocket.

The conversation going on around them halted as Finn’s eyes found the trinket. He’d seen those exact dice, all those years ago when Han hijacked the Millenium Falcon back from him and Rey. He’d recognize them anywhere.

“Wh-why…” he paused, eyes flicking up to Ben. “Why do you have those?”

A pause.

Then another.

A full minute of silence as Ben’s mind reeled. Finally Rey spoke up.

“I found them and gave them to Ben.” Another blatant lie, but she could tell Chewie was about to say something. He sent her a quizzical look, a low grumble as if to say I had it, I was gonna take care of it.

“Why would you do that?” Finn focused on Rey now, the confusion building on his face as the wheels churned in his brain. He looked between Ben and Rey, with the occasional glance to Chewie, as if trying to piece it all together. 

Poe snapped his fingers in front of Finn’s face. “Anybody home? What’s goin on in there buddy?” 

Finn came out of his trance and shook his head, waving Poe off and looking at Ben once more. “I thought you looked familiar…”

“What do you mean?” Ben asked, trying to keep his voice even, though he knew exactly where this conversation was going.

“Why else would Rey give the dice to you?” Finn muttered, more to himself than to anyone in particular. “Unless…”

Rey and Ben shared a look.

“Unless what, Finn?” Rey asked, impatient, hoping her exasperation might distract Finn.

Not so much.

“Unless you thought they would be important to him.” Chewie growled, but Rey waved him off again. “And why would the dice be important to you, Ben, unless you were…”

Poe continued to look confused. The tension in the air was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. At least it felt that way to the people sitting at the table, Poe aside.

Kaydel walked up to the table and waved at Poe. “Hey Poe. Crazy drills yesterday, amirite? You got more in store for us this afternoon?”

Her idle conversation across the table with Poe continued on, both of them completely unaware or ignorant of the staring match happening between the rest of the people at the table.

“Look I can--” Ben started, but his voice died in his throat when Rey pinched his thigh. 

“Wait.” She muttered, willing Kaydel to walk away from the table.

Kaydel and Poe finished up their small talk and she walked away with a wave, but instead of breathing a sigh of relief, Finn and Ben both drew both in order to try to get the next words in.

“I can--”

“You are--”

Both spoke at the same time, then quieted simultaneously as well. Poe finally rolled his eyes. “Care to share with the class what’s going on guys? Ben? Finn?”

Finn crossed his arms. “That’s Kylo Ren.”

Ben had dreaded this moment, everything about it. People finding out, their reactions, his inevitable exile and banishment.

Then--

“HA! And I’m General Hugs. I didn’t realize you were a comedian, Finn.” Poe clapped him on the back with a laugh and went back to his meal.

Ben and Finn stared at each other. Rey’s eyes jumped between the two men. No one knew what to do.

“Poe I mean it…it’s him.” Finn restated, almost second guessing himself by how quickly Poe dismissed it.

“Nah, I don’t buy it.” Poe waved Finn off and then stood with his finished tray, heading off with a mock salute and not another word.

The pure shock on Ben’s face wouldn’t disappear. Once Poe was completely out of earshot, he lowered his voice and finally spoke. “Are you going to tell everyone on base?”

Finn appraised the tall, intimidating man across the table from him for a long moment. The staring contest felt like it went on for an hour, when in reality it was less than a minute.

Then, in another twist, Finn shrugged.

It was the smallest, most begrudging shrug ever, but was a shrug nonetheless.

“Just know I got my eye on you, Solo.” Ben’s eyebrows lifted at the nickname. “You put a single hair out of line and your ass is outta here, I don’t care if Poe believes me or not.” He stood up then, picking up his tray and clapping a hand on Ben’s shoulder. His face was still stoic, but there was a little bit of light in his eyes. “Welcome to the family.”

As he walked off, Ben turned to Rey, his face inscrutable. “Did he just call me Solo?”

***

The rumor eventually spread that the awkward, broody Ben Solo everyone knew and grew to love had actually been Kylo Ren this whole time. No one really knew what to do about the fact that the former Supreme Leader of the First Order was alive and well, living among them and fixing the occasional fresher. So, nobody did anything. 

And continued to not do anything.

He’d been living there so long at that point, the news was almost anticlimactic. 

People were curious, for a time. He was on the receiving end of some surreptitious stares, some stolen glances for a few days of people trying to gauge whether or not the rumors were true.

Then those same people saw Chewie hug Ben one day and decided if Chewie didn’t care, neither did they.  
Ben continued to train in the mornings with Rey, and help with various jobs in the afternoons. He kept mostly to himself and evaded conflict when possible, much like his life before his “secret” got out.

A few weeks after the news broke, everyone was in the cafeteria again, after dinner, playing Sabaac and sharing Coreillian whiskey. Another wave of nostalgia and pain shot through Ben as they played, remembering the stories his dad used to share about these very same games.

In between rounds, Poe finished laughing at his own joke and downed the rest of his glass. “Hey, Ben. How did you fool us for so long?”

Ben’s hands froze mid-shuffle for just a moment before resuming the motions of dealing the next round. Trying to play it cool. “I mean I didn’t put ‘Kylo Ren’ on a nametag if that’s what you’re asking. Not my fault you guys didn’t recognize me.”

Rey choked on her whiskey through her laugh. “Yeah Poe, if I recall correctly, you weren’t even paying attention when I introduced him. Maybe you need a better screening process.”

Poe’s cheeks reddened but he smirked good-naturedly anyway. “Ah, kriff. You’re right. Well hey, you haven’t killed anyone, that’s more than I can say for some of the scoundrels here. You...haven’t killed anyone, right?”

Ben laughed and shook his head. “No, not since Exegol.” 

“Spectacular. Welcome aboard.”

Ben looked puzzled. “I already...live…” He shook his head and smirked anyway. “Thanks, Poe.”

Rey and Ben left the cafeteria that night, hand in hand as they sauntered back to their quarters.

And they continued to live their life there, on Ajan Kloss, until the Force lured them away with the promise of new adventures. No one ever mentioned the words ‘Kylo Ren’ to him ever again.

He was finally unburdened by his old name. With his dyad.

Happily ever after.

**Author's Note:**

> I am here4thereylo on twitter - I am not super active there these days but feel free to DM or @ me I'd love to chat!!!!! Thank you for reading <3


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